


The best lies about me are the ones I told

by DaZeli



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:45:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5603731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaZeli/pseuds/DaZeli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dex grew up very repressed. Over the years, he built himself a wall of lies to hide the others, and himself, from the truth.<br/>Nursey just comes around one day, start knocking on the wall, and the wall starts falling down.<br/>But Dex is stubborn and doesn't want to give up, so he tries to rebuild, but deep inside, he wish he could let it all become dust.</p><p>Or: Dex learns to accept himself and his sexuality, but not without some drama and tears. He also gets a hot boyfriend in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything I Say is the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a quote from: Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind.
> 
> You know how they say that when you have a song stuck in your head the best way to get rid of it is to sing it out loud? Well I deal with my stupid ideas the same way and since I have no shame I share them after. Without betaing them. Yep. Best idea, 10/10.
> 
> So I spent lots of nights from midnight to 3 am writing this out and it turned out way more complex and long than anticipated. Sorry if nothing make sense in some parts, but past midnight my brain is as functional as a potato battery and my writing skills the equivalent of a cat on a keyboard.

William Poindexter was a liar. A dirty, dirty little liar.

But no one knew that. He had perfected his act over the years, and to this day, everyone believed he was who he wanted them to think he was. And by keeping on pretending to be who he wanted people to think he was, over the years, he had started to believe in his own lie, and he was fine with that.

Until he joined Samwell.

Going to Samwell was Dex’s best and worst decision according to himself. He chose to go to Samwell because it was close by and they gave him an athletic and academic scholarships, so he wouldn’t be in too much debt after finishing college. Their informatic and computer science courses were great and the computers were of really good quality. He couldn’t have wished for a better place, especially in his financial situation.

Except for one thing : Derek "Nursey" Nurse. The guy always made him on edge, always saying things he had to disagree with, because yes, he had to disagree with whatever liberal thing Nursey said, to preserve his lie intact and it drove him insane. Because even if they argued all the time, Nursey still hung out with him, as if he was doing it on purpose, as if he knew… Why couldn't Nursey leave him the fuck alone? He had thought he had made it clear he hated him.

Because Dex hated Nursey. He hated his beautiful face, his stupid tattoo and his hot body. God did he hate him. He was making Dex's life so difficult. How was he supposed to keep his lie intact when Nursey was all over in his space all the time, saying things to him he had to argue with and simply not leaving him alone, whether it was on or off the ice.

The truth was, Dex was getting tired. So very tired. Tired of pretending to be someone he wasn't, tired of arguing, tired of fighting... But he kept going because he didn't want to blow up his cover, and admitting defeat would also mean Nursey had won, and he wasn't letting this asshole of a defence partner break the years of effort he put into his façade.

But he was so tired. To keep living a lie was a very tiring, both emotionally and physically.

After a year, Dex was drained.

Returning from summer vacation, he had felt better, like he could keep going, but as soon as Nursey returned, he felt like all of his energy to lie was drained. It angered him, and so that anger was his new fuel for a while. For the whole month of September, their arguments were more aggressive, and Chowder looked so extremely sad, so much that when October rolled around, Dex decided to tone it down a bit, to the joy of everyone, really.

November was pretty much the same and everything seemed normal. When December came in and brought Finals with it, Dex went into his full focus mode, or how Nursey liked to call it, "zombie mode". He isolated himself to focus on studying. His stress level was so high he could snap at any moment for the silliest thing. One day he snapped so badly at Nursey during a practice, Nursey didn't even know what he had done. Dex had been red with anger and he had screamed at him for at least five minutes before someone pulled him away.

That had drained him even more.

-*-

When he came back from Winter Break, instead of being refreshed like everyone, he was even more tired. His relatives had asked him about girlfriends, marriage, babies and all these things he wasn't ready for and didn't want to hear about.

Trying to be straight was so hard.

He was so tired, he didn't bother going to the Haus to meet everyone, instead he stayed alone in his dorm for most of the remaining days before school started. Even when school started, he mostly stayed isolated and alone. He barely went to the Haus and never really talked to anyone.

They were worried, of course, but he always told them that he had a heavy semester and that he was just tired, which wasn't far from the truth.

When midterms arrived, Dex couldn't take it anymore. He was stressed to no end. He couldn't sleep at night and barely had the appetite to eat anything. All he ever did was go to class, study and write down his papers. He would spend all of his time outside of class in his dorm or at the library. He never joined the study group or went to the Haus.

-*-

When midterms were over, Dex thought it would get better, but it didn't. He still couldn't sleep and barely ate anything. Of course, everyone worried. Ever since he came back from Winter Break, things had gone from bad to worse. Dex was so out of it his hockey suffered and he never replied to Nursey's chirps or comments. He didn't even tell him to shut up after he had told him to chill. He was in a permanently tired daze and he couldn't focus on anything.

Then there was the confrontation.

Ransom and Holster, since they were the new team captains had been put in charge of finding out what was wrong. They somehow were able to bring him to the Haus and sat him down. Dex wasn't listening, their voices coming on and off as if someone was playing with the volume. His eyes weren't focused either.

"Bro," Holster had told him, "we're worried for you. Not only on a team stand point, but also on a mental stand point."

"Please tell us what's wrong," Ransom added.

"…Sorry, I'm just tired," he replied.

"Have you even had a full meal in the past weeks? You look like you lost weight and Bitty is worried sick," Holster said.

"Just…Tired. I'll go sleep now," Dex replied, getting up, dragging his feet to the door and leaving.

The thing was that he had left without putting on his gear or grabbing his bag, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. He just followed where his feet would lead him, letting the cold wind hit his bare arms and the snow wet his clothes. Dex was too tired to care about anything. He ended up at Faber and went inside, he headed to the bench and simply sat there, looking at the ice, letting the cold air lull him to sleep. He was so tired…

So tired…


	2. Everything I Said Was a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah that thing was so long I had to cut in into multiple chapters.
> 
> Brain: You have to write more of this.  
> Me: WHY!?  
> Brain: You gotta.
> 
> I am still very sorry.

Nursey had noticed something was wrong with Dex almost immediately after coming back from Winter Break. Dex's arguments sounded half-hearted and he looked pretty bad. He tried to chirp him and made snarky comments, but Dex barely replied to them and instead ignored him and stayed alone. Not even Chowder could get him to talk to them. It was like Dex had closed on himself like a clam and wouldn't open up, not matter how hard they tried.

And midterms only made it worse. Dex looked like shit. He was paler than Nursey had remembered him being, his cheek had lost their colors, and he had huge bags under his eyes. Whenever he was asked, he would always reply that he was just tired.

The whole Haus had held a meeting over this. It wasn't normal, and there clearly was something wrong with Dex. Holster and Ransom had volunteered to try to find out what was up with him, but then Dex just left, leaving all of his stuff there. Nursey and Chowder were asked to bring him his things and to try to investigate further about what could be wrong, but when they found out Dex wasn't in his dorm, they rang the alarm.

They didn't know where Dex had gone, but without his winter gear, there was a really high chance of him getting sick or worse. They divided into groups of two and searched the whole campus. It took them at least an hour to find him. It was Nursey and Chowder who found Dex, laying down on the bench. His lips and fingers were a scary shade of purple; his face was paler than what Nursey thought was humanly possible and his skin was almost as cold as the ice on the rink. They texted the group chat that they had found him, and they hurried to dress Dex in the winter gear they had carried around with them before trying to wake him up. They sighed in relief when they saw his amber eyes flicker open by a small slide.

"Thank God," Nursey said.

"We need to go back to the Haus," Chowder said helping Nursey put Dex on his back.

Dex was still too numb to be conscious of what was going on around him, let alone walk, so Nursey carried him all the way back to the Haus. They were greeted by everyone with covers and other things to warm up.

They had made a nest on the new sofa bed because the green couch had been gone with Shitty, much to Bitty's joy. They took Dex out of his wet, and frozen clothes and Ransom lent him a big warm hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. They laid him down on the sofa bed and proceeded to cover him to make sure he was warm, even going to turn the heat up. Bitty gave hot chocolate and pie to warm up everyone who had gone out.

"Goodness gracious…I'm so glad you guys found him," Bitty said.

"Yeah. He was frozen solid. If we had found him 30 minutes later, he would probably have had hypothermia and frost bites," Nursey replied.

"Are you sure it's safe to leave him alone? He's so out of it; he could just walk out again during the night," Chowder inquired.

"Don't worry C, I'll be staying over. Leaving this self-destructive idiot alone would be the worst idea," Nursey replied.

"We need to find out what's wrong because he'll end up hurting himself," Holster added.

"How about you let him get better first. Poor thing needs to eat a proper meal and have a good night of sleep," Bitty interjected.

"Yeah, Bitty's right, we won't get anything out of him in this state," Ransom agreed.

Nursey finished his pie and went to get ready for bed. It was kind of late and the search had been tiring. He joined Dex on the sofa bed and hugged him close to provide more body heat. Dex was still cold, but at least his lips and fingers weren't turning blue anymore.

-*-

Nursey woke up to movement. When he opened his eyes, he had a squirming Dex in his arms trying to break free, pushing him, his face flushed and the panic in his eyes very apparent. Nursey let go of his embrace and Dex just fell out of bed, quickly getting on his feet and getting away from the couch.

Nursey got up and tried to approach Dex, who was shaking, visibly panicked and scared.

"Dude… Calm down okay, breathe," Nursey told him.

He stepped forward; Dex took two step back.

"I won't."

"Won't what?" he asked, stepping forward again.

"I won't give up Nurse, I won't let you win; I won't," Dex said taking another two step back.

"I don't understand dude. I really don't," Nursey said, stepping forward once more.

"I won't let you destroy what took me years to built," Dex tried to back away, but his back ended up touching the wall.

"Dex, listen to me, okay, I don't know what you're talking about. Please calm down," He said closing the remaining space.

"Faigh amach ó dom." Dex said, his breathing labored, his voice shaking.

"Dex…"

"Gread leat." He repeated.

"Please Dex, talk to me," Nursey tried.

"FÁG MÉ AR M'AONAR" Dex screamed at him, making Nursey back away.

"Dex, please breathe."

"Leave me be," Dex mumbled, his breathing was erratic and he didn't look very stable on his feet.

The ruckus had woken up everyone, who hurried downstairs at once. Dex slid down against the wall, his whole body trembling, his knees brought up to his elbow, hiding his face.

"What's happening, I heard screaming," Lardo asked first.

"I woke up, and he was in panic like that. He kept saying things that made no sense and things in Irish or something," Nursey replied.

Bitty, knowing what a panic attack looked like, went to Dex and kneeled next to him, rubbing his back.

"Dex, you're okay. Just breathe," He told him.

Bitty kept trying to reassure him and little by little, calmed Dex down, stopping the trembling and his breathing returning to normal.

"How about some pie and a cup of hot cocoa before going back to bed?" Bitty asked him.

Dex simply nodded and Bitty dragged him to the kitchen. Nursey stayed in the den, wondering what Dex had been so panicked about. Apparently Dex was worked up about not letting him ruin something he put years into. He sat on the sofa bed and wondered what it had been all about, but at the same time thought it was probably just the stress talking. He went back to sleep with Chowder in Jack's old room since it was too late to go back to the dorms and clearly he shouldn't be anywhere near Dex for a while.

-*-

Bitty was able to nurse Dex back to health during the weekend. He was mostly back to normal, but he was still distant and untalkative. The only people he'd talk to were Bitty, Chowder and sometimes Lardo, and even then, they couldn't go past the idle small talks. Nursey decided to just ignore Dex and let the others deal with him. But during the week, he would sometimes catch Dex looking at him, but he always looked away, as if he was worried or shy.

Things fell back into place at their next game; they had won and Jack and Shitty had come to watch. For the first time in months, Dex smiled and socialized. The party they threw at the Haus was monumental; Dex had to do a kegstand and was pulled in to play a drinking game with Chowder, who was already smashed after his own kegstand.

Nursey took the time to catch up with Shitty and Jack before they each got monopolized by Lardo and Bitty. He stood in his corner, watching the people around him party. Ollie and Wicks were supposed to be on Nursey Patrol, but they were probably caught up picking up some chicks. Nursey hadn't drunk much anyways so he was going to be fine on his own.

And then he found himself with his arms full of Dex, who had walked straight up to him and hugged him.

"I'm sorry," Dex whined to him.

"I know bro, me too," Nursey replied.

"No but you don't understand, I'm sorry about everything," the ginger told him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I lied. I'm a liar, and I'm sorry," Dex had replied, still hugging him.

"You're drunk," Nursey stated.

Dex was very drunk. In fact, Nursey didn't remember ever seeing Dex this drunk before, not including Hazeapaloosa, because the whole purpose of it had been to get as smashed as possible. He also noticed that Dex looked more relaxed and at ease, and Nursey thought his face was a beautiful shade of red, but he kept that to himself.

"And sleepy," Dex added.

"Alright, let's go back to the dorms," He told him as they started to make their way to the exit.

The walk back was spent in relative silence. Nursey brought Dex back to his building, but Dex couldn't walk straight, so Nursey had to take him back inside his dorm room so he wouldn't just faceplant in the hallway. Dex's roommate wasn't there as always, and Dex got down to his boxers and plopped into his bed and asked Nursey to tuck him in. Nursey obliged, but then Dex grabbed him and made him fall on the bed.

"Stay with me, please. I don't want to be alone," Dex had asked him in a plaintive voice.

"Dex…You're drunk, and you have been avoiding everyone for weeks."

"Only because I have to," Dex replied, sounding sad.

"Why?" Nursey asked.

He had the idea that maybe having Dex like this would get him to reveal what the problem with him was.

"Because otherwise you will break my lie and tell everyone," the ginger replied.

"And is that a bad thing?"

"Yes! Because if everyone knows, my family will know and they will hate me. Everyone will. Then I'll be alone," Dex told him, sounding much sadder than Nursey had ever heard him be.

"Dex, how about we talk about this in the morning when you're not drunk, okay?" Nursey told him, as he laid down next to Dex.

"Okay," Dex replied, before cuddling close to him.

Nursey knew he was going to regret this in the morning, but right now he was tired and Dex's warm body pressed against him was too comfortable to want to leave. So he stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt and pulled the covers over them, Dex already falling asleep on him.

Nursey observed Dex for a brief moment; he looked relaxed and peaceful when he was asleep. Nursey liked his messy red hair and the freckles that covered his body like stars in the night sky. If Dex hadn't been an asshole about pretty much everything since they first meet, he would probably have found him cute or at least likable.

Then there was that whole thing about him finding out and revealing Dex's lie that would somehow make everyone hate him. Maybe it was only a drunk talk or maybe it was something that Dex had kept deeply hidden in his subconscious, and he had just pulled a Freud experiment without knowing. In the end, he decided that it would be better to look more into this the next day when they were both rested with a clear head.

-*-

The next morning, Nursey woke up before Dex. The ginger was still cuddled close in his arms. Nursey looked at him; he looked content and comfortable. The sunlight coming from the window reflected on Dex's face, making his hair and eyelashes glow a beautiful shade of golden and Nursey couldn't help but smile. Dex looked adorable and peaceful like that.

If only things had always been that way.

After only a few minute, he felt Dex's breathing become uneven, he looked down at him, felt him move against him before his eyes snapped open.

"Good morning," Nursey told him softly.

For only response, he got Dex squirming incessantly, but unlike last time, he kept Dex close and rubbed his back.

"Dex, calm down okay. Do you remember what we talked about yesterday?" he told him, keeping his tone soft.

Dex stopped moving and curled up on himself against Nursey.

"It's all your fault," Dex mumbled.

"I guessed that much."

"You always nag and push me. It's as you do it on purpose so I'll have to disagree and argue all the time. You made keeping it up so much harder and I'm so tired…" Dex started.

"I don't really understand, but if you don't want to argue, you don't have to, you know. Ignoring me is also an option."

"It's not that easy, Nursey."

"Then explain."

"It's a long story."

"We have time," Nursey said.

Dex sighed and waited as if he was thinking about what to say.

"When I was 10, I had to start lying and pretending to be someone I'm not, because otherwise, everyone would hate me. I already had no friends whatsoever, the last thing I wanted was to be bullied and hated by my family on top of being made fun of. So I lied. About a lot of things. I was able to make everyone believe in it, everyone thought that this was me. My family was pleased and people didn't bother me. And since then I never stopped lying. Until I came here," he started before taking a deep breath, "I thought I would be able to keep it up, but you kept pushing me to the limit of which I had to argue with you so people wouldn't question. After a year I was drained. Summer was okay but when I came back it just kept going but I was so tired…I'm so tired Nursey."

Dex's body was shaking, and Nursey's only reflex was to keep him close. He could feel Dex's hot tears on him; apparently this whole thing was way deeper than he had initially thought.

"I'm sorry Dex, I didn't mean to," he told him sincerely.

Dex took a shaking breath. Nursey gave him a few minutes.

"Dex?" he asked when he felt Dex's had calmed down a little.

"Yeah?"

"I really have to know; all the arguments and fight we had, it was only because you felt you had to have them, not because you really disagreed this strongly?"

"…Yes," Dex replied.

"So you don't actually hate me that much?"

"…Yeah," Dex replied shyly.

"What is making you do all this, Dex?" Nursey asked in the softest way possible.

"I…I can't tell you," Dex replied.

"Pretending to be someone you're not is unhealthy. I'm sure everyone would like to meet the real you. I know I would," he told him, cupping his defense partner's face in his hands so he would look at him.

Dex eyes were blurry with tears and filled with so many emotions all at once. _The emotions Dex had kept hidden all this time_ , Nursey thought.

"I promise I won't tell anyone. Please tell me what made you so miserable," he asked again, whipping Dex's tears with his thumbs.

Dex closed his eyes and sighed, leaning into the touch, shaking again.

"I…I'm gay," he let out, it was so soft, like a whisper.

Dex's face got wet with tears, and Nursey held him close.

This was it. The secret was out. After almost ten years of hiding away alone in his closet and pretending to be someone he was not, lying about everything, trying to make it go away, Dex had finally caved in and told someone. _It must've been so hard, growing up so repressed, thinking you were disgusting and a freak of nature_ , Nursey thought to himself.

Nursey wanted to tell him everything would be okay, wipe those tears away and give Dex all the friendship and support he could. He wanted to patch him up, help him show off his true self, give him all the confidence and all the support in the world. Instead, he just held him close and buried his nose in the mass of messy red hair.

"You're okay, Dex. I'm here and you're gonna be okay," he told him.

Dex was clutching at his t-shirt as if it was a matter of life and death. When Dex's body stopped shaking and the stream of tears came to an end, Nursey kept rubbing Dex's back and Dex slowly relaxed into the touch. Nursey could hear his breathing becoming even again.

"You can sleep now, I'm not going anywhere. Just rest," he said softly.

Dex fell back asleep and Nursey decided it was too early to do anything, so he went back to sleep as well.

-*-

When he woke up for the second time, Nursey found Dex still curled up against him. He got up and grabbed two Tylenol and filled a glass with water. Dex had been so drunk the previous night that if he didn't have a headache the first time he had woken up, he probably did now. He put the pills and the glass of water down on the night table and sat on the bed. He started caressing Dex's mused hair and rubbing the back of his neck. This time, Dex woke up slowly. His sleepy eyes looked up at Nursey and the shy smile that Dex put up on his face made Nursey smile as well.

"Brought you Tylenol and water. Thought you would need it, judging by how drunk you were last night," he told him softly.

Dex groaned and stretched luxuriously before sitting up in his bed, taking the pills, and the glass of water Nursey handed to him. Nursey observed him; he looked calm and shy as if he was grateful for Nursey not making things worse or asking too many questions.

Dex laid back down, closing his eyes and sighing, waiting for the medicine to kick in. Nursey had the reflex to start caressing his hair again. He almost thought Dex would tell him to stop, but the ginger only leaned into the touch. Dex's hair was soft and thin, _like rabbit fur_ , Nursey thought.

"Why are you still here?" Dex asked him, bringing him back to reality.

"Because you need me. I actually care about you, y'know," he replied.

"It's weird having you being so nice to me like that…"

"I can leave if you want," Nursey told him.

"No…Please stay. I like it, when you're nice, I mean," Dex admitted shyly.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, until Nursey phone blinged with a new text. He looked, and it was a text from Bitty on the group chat saying that everyone going to the Haus would get pancakes.

"Bitty's making pancakes. You wanna go?" he asked him, still having one of his hands playing in Dex's soft red hair.

"Sure… I haven't had any of those in a while," Dex said, getting up.

"I'll go shower and change. Meet you at the front door in 20 minutes?" Nursey asked.

"Yeah… I'll do the same. You kind of messed up my hair," the redhead chuckled.

"Dude, your hair is like, super soft. Like rabbit fur, man," he told him.

Dex's cheeks turned red at the compliment.

"Thanks, you're the first person ever to tell me that," Dex smiled shyly.

Nursey got up and headed for the door, told Dex to hurry up because otherwise he would leave without him because there was no way he was missing out on Bitty's pancakes and left.

The whole time he spent in the shower, he thought about how calm Dex had been and how beautiful his smile was. He was so used to seeing Dex being all tense, stressed out and angry, but back there he had looked happy and peaceful. He thought about what Dex had told him when he complimented him; he was the first one to do so.

Then it hit him like a bus. Dex grew up repressed, but he was also made fun of because of his appearance. He had been so quick to judge him, to tell him he was privileged, which he was in a way, but really, had he known how miserable Dex was, he would have kept these comments to himself.

Now he wanted nothing more but to help Dex, hug him and compliment him every day. He wanted to make him feel better about himself, to give him enough confidence to be more open, to make him feel like a human being and not an anomaly.

Realising he had been in the shower for too long, Nursey hurried to get dry and dressed, before going to meet Dex at the door.

-*-

When Dex joined him at the front door, Nursey had the reflex to put an arm around his shoulders, but as he went to make the move, Dex backed off. Right, he had momentarily forgotten that Dex wasn't into PDA of any kind and after everything that happened back in Dex's room, the least he could do was to give him his space.

They walked in silence. Nursey noticed that Dex seemed tenser than he had been back in his room, and he could feel the worry building up inside of him the closer they got to the Haus. He knew exactly why this time around, so before they got in the Haus, he put a hand on Dex's shoulder.

"It's gonna be alright. Just be yourself, okay? I'll be there to help if anything," he told him.

Dex nodded and they went inside. They took off their coats and went to the kitchen where Bitty was making hangover food.

"Good morning, Nursey," Bitty said happily to him, turning around and seeing Dex with him, "Good morning Dex, glad to see you were able to join us this morning," Bitty added, smiling softly at him.

Chowder was already sitting down and eating, and when he saw his two best friends walk in, he beamed the biggest smile he could do. He was so happy to see them.

"Guys! I'm so glad you came! The pancakes are so good!!!" he started before telling them about the party. They didn't have the heart to tell him they had been there too.

Nursey focused on his pancakes while Chowder talked to Dex. He could see that Dex had relaxed a bit, he was smiling and laughing at Chowder's funny stories and his shoulders were down. From the stove, Bitty looked relieved to see Dex socialize again.

Ransom and Holster joined a few minutes later, asking for food like baby birds, and apparently Dex was in a very good mood because he chirped them for it. At first, they were surprised, but they laughed, happy to see Dex was finally doing better.

Jack, Shitty, and Lardo joined soon after. Jack and Shitty knew what happened with Dex, in fact, Jack had called Bitty almost every day, mostly to talk to him, but also to check up on Dex, because he knew what could happen. Shitty had also checked up on the young defenseman via Nursey, but Nursey wasn't really a good source of information when it came to that, so Lardo had to fill him in. Everyone seemed glad to see Dex there and not alone in his room. The best part was obviously that he appeared to be on friendly terms with Nursey. When asked about what happened for them to become friends again, Nursey had the mind to answer for Dex, who suddenly shut up like a clam.

"Being drunk together brings out the friendship in you," he shrugged.

"True that," Shitty grinned.

"The magic of alcohol," Holster added.

They went back to their conversation until they were all done eating. Dex excused himself and said he actually had a shit-ton of stuff to do, and Nursey told the same, getting up and leaving with Dex. Once they were outside, Dex was the first one to talk.

"Thanks for saving my ass. I wasn't prepared to answer questions," He told him.

"Dude, no problem," Nursey replied.

"It's so nice to talk to everyone again…" Dex said.

"I know, and I'm sure they were also glad you were here."

"Well, Chowder obviously was. Have you seen his face? He looked like a kid on Christmas," the ginger chuckled.

"Yeah. Everyone was so worried about you. I think we're all glad to have you back, man," Nursey replied as he patted Dex's back.

"Talking about that…I'm sorry I made everyone worry," Dex added shyly.

"Dude, it wasn't your fault. Okay kind of, but it's not like you wanted that to happen. Now that I know, it all makes sense. Y'know, if you ever think about coming out to the team, or at least someone else, I'll be there. I'm not talking like tomorrow or anything, but like, in the future, when you feel ready for it."

"Yeah. Also, thanks for not telling everyone. I need to clear up my mind before I do anything like coming out," Dex replied.

"I know, bro, and it's okay. I just want you to know that I'll always be there to support you. You don't have to do this alone anymore," Nursey told him.

Dex smiled at him, and Nursey smiled back. There was something new between them, and Nursey liked it. He hoped Dex liked it too.

"Wanna come study with me at the library? I think I'll be there for a while," Dex asked him.

"Sure. I'll grab my stuff, and we'll go, alright?" Nursey replied.

"Alright," he smiled again.


	3. Everything I Say May Be the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brain: Hey, y'know what's missing?  
> Me: What?  
> Brain: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Me: OH DEAR LORD.
> 
> So yeah, careful, this is were the fic get its Explicit rating.

Days passed and turned into weeks. Everything was normal again, for the exception that Dex and Nursey didn't fight as much and Dex's overall character had changed. Everyone noticed, but didn't comment on it. As long as the hockey was good, they wouldn't bother Dex trying to know why things were suddenly so civil between him and Nursey.

Dex was glad, in a way, that he had came out to Nursey. He felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he didn't feel so alone anymore. It was nice to have someone support you and tell you that it was normal to be attracted to the same sex, instead of being told that homosexuals were anomalies and freaks of nature like he had been all his life.

Nursey also helped him build up his confidence. It was mostly little things; like congratulating him for his work, telling him he could be open about certain things, telling the others that he changed his opinion on his own. Dex felt more confident each time it happened.

But there were also bigger things Nursey would tell him when they were alone; like compliment him. He seemed to like complimenting him a lot now. Nursey told him his smile was pretty, that his laugh was nice to hear, and that his freckles were like constellations in the night sky.

When Dex asked him why he was complimenting him, Nursey replied that he always liked to point out beautiful things.

Everytime, Dex would flush bright red and thank him, because he didn't know what to do. It always made him all warm and fuzzy when Nursey complimented him, and he tried to compliment him back, but he would stutter on his words and Nursey would smile and thank him even if he was barely able to say anything coherent.

Gosh, Dex had just came out to him and he already had a massive crush on him. Well, now that he was thinking about it, he had to admit that he may have had a crush since much before all of this, but he was too on edge and trying to hide to actually know.

Over the weeks, the tension had built up between them. It wasn't a bad tension, but it was still there, and Dex had no idea how to deal with it.

Dex was cut off out of his reverie by his phone. He had just received a message from Nursey asking him if he wanted to come up to his room to study with him. Dex accepted the invitation automatically. He liked spending time with Nursey now, he felt at ease with him, not having to hide was a new feeling he enjoyed a lot.

Dex also liked that when they were hanging out alone, Nursey complimented him, but also got up in his space. He liked the way he would stay close, rub his back, draw lazy patterns between his shoulders or massage the back of his neck. Nursey's hands felt so good on him, he wished he could feel them somewhere else… He shook his head, trying to get rid of the thought, before grabbing his things and heading to Nursey’s room.

-*-

Over the past few weeks, Nursey had grown incredibly closer to Dex. He had decided to help Dex built his confidence up in more ways than one.

He always pointed to Dex the positive, congratulated him when he could, and always gave him credit for his hard work. When they were alone, he would compliment him, but also touch him and get in his space, to encourage him to open up. It worked somewhat well. Dex seemed to like his compliments and tried to return them, but he was so shy, like he had never done this sort of thing in his life, and for what Nursey knew, he probably never had. So he kept them coming, loving the blush on Dex face whenever he complimented him. He was always curious as to just how far his blush could go.

He couldn't believe he had a crush on Dex, but at the same time, he had to, because his thoughts just wouldn't give him a break. He decided to invite Dex over to study, thinking that maybe he could give it a try.

When Dex showed up, all smiling and overall happy, Nursey's heart skipped a beat. He liked that smile so much; it was a bit unsure, a little shy, but it was so beautiful and made Dex's face glow. He let the ginger sat on his bed and he went to sit next to him, back against the wall, using his pillows to make things more confortable. They were very close, their thighs were touching and so were their shoulders.

"So, what are you studying?" Nursey asked him.

Dex started to ramble about the class and the course material, trying to explain things to him. Nursey was to captivated in observing Dex. He looked at the different expressions on Dex's face, he nodded to let him know he was following, but really, the only thing he was following was the movement of Dex's lips, eyes and hands.

Then he decided to start playing mindlessly in Dex's hair. Dex suddenly stopped talking and looked at him, raising a brow.

"Are you listening?"

"Hmhm."

"You are so not listening," he sighed.

"Your eyes are pretty," Nursey said out of the blue.

"What?"

There it was, Dex's beautiful blush appearing at the top of his ears.

"Your eyes. They are pretty. Like they're made of gold," he repeated.

The blush spread all over Dex's face. The ginger faced the other way with a shy smile.

"You're cute when you blush like that. With your face and ears all red," he smiled.

The blush was quickly going down Dex's neck. Nursey's curiousity got the best of him, so he came closer, talking softly directly into Dex's ear.

"Your hair is longer. I like that. It's so nice and soft," he started, "Your eyelashes are really long, when they reflect the sunlight, they look like they're glowing in shades of copper. It's so pretty," he continued, watching Dex get redder and redder by the minute, "I like pretty things," he said, "And I find you very pretty," he finished.

He took a quick look at Dex, who was now looking at him with an expression that resembled surprise, but also joy. Their faces were so close, Nursey couldn't resist and kissed Dex. Dex was frozen in place at first, probably surprised by the sudden gesture, but the way he melted into the kiss only make Nursey want to kiss him more.

Nursey could tell Dex had absolutely no idea what he was doing. The kiss was sloppy, their teeth were clacking together and their noses were getting in the way, but Nursey couldn't help it and smiled as he pulled back. Dex's pupils were blown and his breathing was heavier. He was blushing a deep shade of crimson. The redhead smiled back at him, looking a little more confident.

"What was that for, Nurse?" he asked, sheepishly.

"That's what you get for being so pretty, Poindexter." Nursey smiled.

They both smiled at each other, until Nursey broke the silence again.

"By the way, was I your first kiss?" he asked the ginger.

If Dex could blush a deeper shade of red, he probably would have. Dex nodded shyly, as if he was ashamed to have never kissed anyone before his 20's.

"Well I'm glad I was and not some random girl in your fourth grade or something. It gets to mean something," he tells him.

"And what does it mean?" Dex asked, chuckling.

"Really? You're really ask-"

Nursey was cut off by Dex kissing him again. He brought a hand to cup Dex's face. His skin was so soft under his rough hands. If Dex wasn't blushing like mad, Nursey could say he'd feel like he was touching someone made of porcelain.

When Dex broke the kiss, he looked at him softly, panting slightly. Nursey found something very attractive in the way Dex was looking at him, eyes half-lidded and a coy smile on his face.

"It means I get to show you stuff you've never experienced before," he smiled back.

He wasted no time and got up on his knees, swinging a leg over Dex so he was straddling his waist. He placed a hand on Dex's face, caressing his cheek with his thumb.

"Is this okay?" he asked him.

"Fuck- Yes." Dex replied almost immediately.

Nursey let his hand go down and his thumb traced over Dex's bottom lips. Dex closed his eyes and Nursey pressed his thumb gently on Dex's lower lips and the ginger's mouth opened softly, and Nursey went to kiss him again, this time putting his tongue into Dex's mouth. The kiss was slow and hot. He could feel Dex's hands on his arms, tracing his tattoo.

When they broke for air, Dex was red as ever and panting heavily. Nursey let his hands travel down and start unbuttoning Dex's shirt as he went to kiss the ginger's neck, following the red blush down to his collar bone, sucking a hickey there. As he was sucking on the pale skin at his disposition, Dex made a sound. It was a very soft gasp that turned into a moan the more Nursey sucked various spots on his chest as he was finishing to open Dex's shirt. He liked the sound, and so made sure Dex would produce many more of them.

As he finished to take off Dex's shirt, he felt Dex's mouth on his neck and his soft hands going under his t-shirt and caressing his skin. He wondered how someone like Dex, who had worked so many manual jobs, could still have such soft hands.

He felt Dex pulling at his t-shirt, and Nursey obliged and took it off before going to kiss Dex again. He felt his soft hands roaming his body and playing in his hair. Nursey moaned into the kiss when he felt Dex rub one of his nipples and he could feel Dex smile as they kept kissing. Nursey decided to give it back to Dex and let his hands caress and trace soft lines on the other's body.

It didn't take long before Nursey felt Dex's erection poking at him. To be fair, he was also fairly aroused and moved just so Dex could feel him as well, making the ginger moan again, a little louder this time, even muffled by the kiss. Nursey grinded on him a little before breaking the kiss and asking:

"Can I blow you?" he asked him.

Dex opened his eyes wide.

"Yeah…Go ahead," he panted out.

Nursey didn't need to be told twice and started undoing Dex's pants as he kissed his way down to his shaft. He discarded the pants, throwing them where their shirts were lying in a pile. He rubbed Dex's bulge and kissed it through his boxers and kissed up his happy trail of red hair before taking off Dex's boxers the same way he did with the pants.

Once the boxers were gone, Nursey took a minute to look at his handiwork; Dex's naked body on his bed, his pretty face, eyes closed, mouth slightly open and panting, his blush descending all the way down his chest and erasing the freckles in it's path, his pretty pink cock ramrod against his abs with a trail of pre-come. He took in the sight, making sure he'd remember it to write dirty poems about it to Dex later.

Nursey bent down and breathed hot air on Dex's cock before taking him in his mouth. The sounds escaping from Dex's mouth told him he was doing it right, because they sounded straight out of a pornographic film and it was hot . He licked the length of Dex's cock and tried to take him as deep as he could, humming so his throat would create vibrations. The ginger seemed to enjoy it a lot and moaned more loudly, his hands roaming in Nursey's hair.

When Dex started swearing, Nursey knew he was close, so he took him out of his mouth and finished him with his hand. He looked at Dex's face as he came in his hand and it was so fucking hot. And now he had Dex naked on his bed, looking at him with his smug half-lidded eyes and smile of satisfaction. He looked like he had something planned in the back of his head and Nursey swallowed, he took a tissue to clean his hand and waited.

-*-

When Nursey had taken him in his mouth, Dex thought he would come on the spot, but Nursey worked him through it slowly. It felt so good, Dex couldn't believe what was happening to him. He had never been given a blowjob in his life, and he had sudden regrets about it because it felt incredible.

When he was about to come, he didn't know how to signal it to Nursey, so he started swearing, and apparently Nursey understood because he stopped and stroked him with his hand until Dex reached his orgasm and came. He took a minute to catch back his breath before looking at Nursey.

He noticed that he was still hard in his pants, so Dex thought he should return the favor, it was the least he could do after all Nursey had done for him. So he maneuvered himself and Nursey so Nursey was sitting on the edge of his bed and he kneeled before him, undoing Nursey's pants and taking them off with his boxers.

Nursey's cock was now resting hard against his abs. His chest rising with every breath.

"You don't have to, y'know," Nursey told him.

"But I want to. I would have to learn at some point, might as well do it when I have a great test subject."

He smirked up at him before going to kiss the inside of Nursey's thigh. Nursey's moans were low and rough. Dex liked it a lot more than he would have been ready to admit. He kissed his way up Nursey's strong thighs before going to lick a hot wet stripe along Nursey's lenght, making other great sounds escape from Nursey's mouth. He then started sucking on the head. He knew he couldn't deep throat him the way Nursey had done to him, but he would try to make the experience enjoyable none the less.

Nursey had his hands in his red hair and his eyes were closed. The face he was making was anything but chill. He looked like he was liking Dex's blowjob a lot, and of course he complimented him.

"You're so good, Dex," he said, "Oh yeah like that – oh fuck," he kept moaning.

Eventually, Dex ended up with most of Nursey in his mouth. He played with his tongue around it and foundled his balls with one of his hands. When Nursey was getting close, he pushed Dex's head lightly, but Dex was to focused and only caught on it last second. He was able to pull away, but ended up with a wet hot splat of come on his cheek.

He looked up at Nursey, and when Nursey saw him, Dex felt the other male's cock twitch in his hand.

"Fuck, Dex, I'm sorry," he said to him.

"It's okay. Did I do alright?" he asked back.

"Dex, I have no idea where you got this from, but it was great, especially for a first time. Damn," Nursey said, laying down on his bed.

Dex smirked before he got up and cleaned his face, getting back in bed with Nursey and cuddling with him.

"We should probably put some clothes back on," Nursey told him, "Otherwise I might want to get a second round."

"Not that I wouldn't like that, but I don't think I'm ready yet. This was way more than I anticipated already," Dex replied, putting his boxers back on.

"Also, is this like, a one time thing or do you want to do it again sometime? Would you like to date?"

"I'd like to date. If you want to. I’ve never dated before," he admitted.

"Well good, you get to experience my great romantism and amazing sex," Nursey smirked.

"Shut up, I can always come back on my descision, y'know," Dex replied sharply, getting back into his little spoon position.

"I know, I know," he chuckled, nuzzling Dex's hair and pressing a kiss on the back of his neck.

They stayed like this for a while, until Dex's phone blinged. He took it and saw a text from Chowder saying Bitty was making his favorite pie. Dang, now he really had to get up.

"Bitty made a strawberry pie," he told Nursey.

"And? You wanna go? I know strawberry is your favorite and that he doesn't make them that often because strawberries are sort of expensive at this time of the year," Nursey replied.

"Yeah…But maybe we shouldn't show up together…I feel like everyone will notice that I got laid," Dex said.

"True. You reek of sex," Nursey chuckled.

"Shut up! You're the one who came on my face. If I smell like sex it's your fault."

Nursey groaned and hid his face in the crook of Dex's neck.

"Alright alright, get up and I'll wait a while before getting there okay," he replied.

"Okay," Dex said as he got up and put his clothes back on, trying to not look like he just got deflowered by his teammate who was now his secret boyfriend. He grabbed his stuff and left.

-*-

When Nursey had seen he had came on Dex's face, he had felt his cock twitch with arousal. The sight was amazing and he had never thought he would ever witness such a thing and he found it extremely hot. He would also make sure to remember that and include it in his dirty poems for Dex.

When Dex left to go to the Haus, Nursey waited a couple of minutes before getting up and dressing up again. He had wished Dex stayed a little longer cuddled in his bed, but he knew how much his boyfriend – God he could call Dex his boyfriend now - liked Bitty's strawberry pie, so he didn't try to convince him to stay.

He made his way to the Haus quickly and found the gang in the kitchen, waiting for Bitty's pie. They were sitting at the table and interrogating Dex about his sex life, because as they had guessed, Dex had gotten laid and looked like it. They looked like they were having a jolly ol' time with that.

Dex on the other hand, looked mortified and was blushing like mad. Nursey knew Dex could handle it, but he also felt a surge of protectiveness towards him. He took the time to listen to the conversation from outside.

"Dude, c'mon, tell us who! We want deets bro," Holster kept on telling him.

"Yeah, we wanna know who we need to thank for deflowering you," Ransom added.

"Guys, give up. Shitty wouldn't want us to pry like that," Chowder said.

"Nah bro, I am not giving up unless I know what happened; was it a hand job? Blowjob? Oh my God did you give penetration on your first fucking time? Dude tell me you weren't that lucky or I'll be jealous," Holster rambled.

"It was nothing, now shut up and let me eat my pie," Dex fumed.

"But-"

"No buts, Holster, leave the poor thing alone, you got an answer and pie, so now shush," Bitty intervened.

Nursey decided it was the right moment to show up. He greeted everyone and sat down next to Dex, who was focused on his pie. He felt observed and so pointed it out.

"Why are you guys looking at me like that?" he asked as he started eating his pie.

"Did you know Dex got laid?" Ransom asked.

"Yeah. I knew before you guys, gave him his dose of chirps," he replied.

There was an awkward silence before Ransom and Holster got up and trapped the two younger defensemen.

"Weird. You also reek of sex, Nurse," Holster said.

"Is that really surprising in my case?" Nursey replied.

"Yes. I don't know why anyone would want to have sex with you," Dex chirped.

"Says the guy who also reeks of sex," Ransom added.

"What a coincidence," Holster added.

"Oh my God guys!!! You think Nursey and Dex had sex together!!?" Chowder exclaimed, in pure shock.

Dex was red all over, and Nursey could feel his cheeks burning as well.

"We didn't!" Dex sputtered.

"Then please explain why both of you got laid at the same time on the same day," Holster started.

"And those looks you've been giving each other for the past week," Ransom continued.

"And don't forget the incredible lack of fighting," Holster added.

"Oh my God SHUT UP." Dex blurted, quickly getting up and leaving, face red and brows furrowed in anger.

An awkward silence planned. Nursey focused on his pie and glared at the other two defensemen. Now Dex probably wouldn't want to come out ever, and maybe never have sex again.

"Way to ruin his first time guys," he told them sharply.

"Did you guys really…?" Chowder asked in awe.

Nursey sighed, there wasn't really a point in denying it now that they had pretty much found out.

"Yes we did, I wanted to let him come out on his own, but I think that's not happening now. I would appreciate if you'd try to not bother my boyfriend about things like that from now on," he said, deadpan.

There was a collective "Ohhh" of realization.

"So you guys are dating?" Lardo asked.

"Yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a boyfriend I need to make sure doesn't want to leave the fucking country now," He said, getting up and leaving.

He made his way back to the dorms, where he knew he'd find Dex. He knocked on his door and Dex opened. He looked clearly distressed and Nursey hurried inside, closing the door and going to sit with Dex on his bed.

"You okay?" he asked him softly as he rubbed his back.

"I just…I wasn't ready and I shouldn't have gone to the Haus. That was stupid," Dex replied, resting his head on Nursey's shoulder.

"I know babe. I told them to fuck off," he told him.

"Oh God does that mean they know we're dating?"

"Well they pretty much guessed we were doing each other, so might as well. They shouldn't bother you."

Dex smiled and chuckled.

"Did you just go 'overly protective boyfriend' on them?"

"Hey, it's normal to be angry when someone embarrasses your boyfriend, Poindexter," he smiled at him.

"I wasn't expecting you to be the protective type, Nurse; that's all."

"I take care of who I love, that's all," he shrugged.

Dex blushed at the word and Nursey kissed his cheek. They hear Dex's phone bling multiple times. Dex picked it up and looked.

"Wow, Chowder really thinks I'm mad at him," he said, replying to the poor goalie.

"And I didn't even scold him specifically," he laughed.

"Also, Bitty says congrats on coming out. Lardo says good job on the self-discovery and Ransom and Holster both said congrats on the sex," Dex finished.

Then it was Nursey's phone turn to bling.

"Chowder says he's sorry if we're angry and that he's happy for us and asked if that means we won't fight anymore," Nursey read.

"In his dreams, maybe. Because I suck your dick doesn't mean we're not gonna argue," Dex said.

"I'll tell him that you said that."

"Don't! You'll make him cry, Jesus!" Dex laughed.

"Don't worry, I'll rephrase it."

"Anything from the others?"

"Bitty says sorry for letting Rans and Holst bother you and that we look cute, Lardo says she had never seen me so unchill and that she didn't know I was so protective of my partners. Ransom and Holster said congrats on the sex and to not forget to use protection. Also they are sorry for pushing you," he replied as he finished texting back.

"Well I guess now everyone at the Haus knows…" Dex started, "Oh my God I need to tell them to shut their mouth about it otherwise everyone's going to know," he realised and texting quickly to everyone.

"Would it be so bad?" Nursey asked.

"Maybe not for you, but for me, it could quickly turn to shit, I didn't try to be straight for fun, y'know."

"I know babe, I know," he chuckled.

"Stop it," Dex blushed.

"Stop what?" Nursey smirked.

"Stop looking so fucking smug when giving me sweet nicknames," he sputtered.

"You're adorable," Nursey laughed.

"Am not!" Dex objected.

Then Nursey proceded to tickle him. Dex apparently was very ticklish because he was squirmming in all direction and was laughing pretty hard. Nursey smiled. Dex was really adorable like that, he looked happy and bubbly. Nursey kept tickling him until Dex was out of breath and laying on his bed, shirt riding up and smiling sweetly at him.

"I love you," Nursey told him softly, making Dex blush deeply.

"I love you too," Dex replied as he went to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over. I am so sorry. Practice makes better right?  
> Brain: NOW HOW ABOUT THAT POLYFROG FIC!  
> Me: WHY ME!?
> 
> I am very sorry. Eventually my brain will leave me alone.  
> I hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Things I'm good at: reading things. Things I'm not so good at: writing things.  
> I am so sorry guys, so so sorry.


End file.
